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If you esteem that your present sentimental situation is not entirely satisfactory, profit by this favorable astral ambience to improve it; in any case, remember that to love is to give much more than to receive. You may have the desire to avenge somebody for an insult; try to dispel this desire otherwise you'd only nurse your wounds and make yourself unhappy.
How do they do it? How do the ubiquitous 'they' know these things? That was my horoscope for today and it was right on the money. I did have the desire, actually for a short while it was a raging need, to avenge somebody for an insult. A ludicrous situation came to light today that I almost let get the best of me; while I refuse to lend credence to one particularly odious group of women by enumerating details of today’s ridiculous event, I will say that their mask of civility has slipped. They’ve revealed their true selves and it’s not pretty.
When the fallout from this event hit my little world, I realized that I was standing at a crossroad in my personal growth. There was no umbrella, no safety net in sight. I had to make a choice of how I was going to deal with what felt like another betrayal (not long ago a friend decided she didn’t need me anymore). I could do the following:
a) Grieve over the injustice done to me and several other women and fall back into my old ‘victim’ persona (which I’ve worked very hard to shed, thank you very much) and nurse my wounds by continuing to analyze and agonize over it. Or…
b) Be just as nasty to them as they were to me. I could crush them with words. Send hateful e-mails. Call them and scream into their answering machines (okay – I’d never do that last one to anyone). But for one split second, I wanted revenge. I wanted them to feel as badly about their actions as I had allowed them to make me feel about my self.
c) Be grateful.
In all honesty, the first choice was really calling me but this approach was just a little too comfortable, a little too familiar. It was scary when I realized just how easy it would be to slip back into the old, negative thinking patterns I had lived with for so many years.
I’ve been on a spiritual quest and a minister just recently spoke about how a grudge is simply a story you tell over and over and over. So, did I want to add this sorry novella to all my other tales of woe and carry them with me every where I go from here on out? Did I want this paragraph in my life’s tale to be the one I kept close to my heart?
No. I chose c). Gratitude. Final Answer, Regis.
It sounds crazy to me even as I write this but I’m honestly grateful for the event – not happy about it, of course, but I am appreciative of the opportunity I was given to rise above it. I had been provided a legitimate, built in excuse to carry around a grudge against this group of women and I chose not to use it. If I want to change how I think and how things happen around and to me, I have to change the story I tell. It’s that simple. I chose to be conscious of and grateful for the true friends I do have. I chose not to sully my energy by indulging in negative emotions.
Today, I almost let this situation get the best of me. Joaquin Mariel Espinosa said, “Authentic treachery is found when we abandon ourselves, becoming deaf to the whispers of our spirits and blind to the powerful potential therein.”
Today, I am filled with gratitude; my heart heard the whisper, my soul saw its strength and I was aware enough to recognize and celebrate.
Today, I have a new tale, a positive story, to carry with me wherever I go.
Until next time,
“I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild; when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and moody. And in all its moods, I see myself.” ~ Martin Buxbaum
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